One of the best things about Instagram is that it has kept me in daily contact with one of my favorite people in the universe.  She and her family moved away last summer and since then, she has made me smile with her beautiful pictures of her precious family and art.  When I realized that she was participating in the Photo a Day Challenge, I was thrilled.  Now I get to see her literally every day.  So, to return the favor….I am jumping on the bandwagon and using this to add to Curran 365…..for now anyway.  I am not promising I will have as beautiful pictures as some other, but I will try.  We will see how this “theme” each day inspires or just becomes a barrier.  Either way, you can follow the feed on the sidebar here at R&TM or on Instagram /readandtellme.

Happy Thursday!!!

Last weekend we celebrated my Baby Sister’s Birthday with a family dinner that generally followed the theme of her favorite things.  Mary is not shy when it comes to things she likes AND things she does not like.  So, I was excited to kick off our first family birthday dinner (at home……too many kids, we have outgrown restaurants for awhile) with Mary’s favorite things.

1. Family (She adores us…..I swear, she does!)
2. Caprese Salad
3. Fried Green Beans
4. Mom’s China
5. Gifts (We gave her three “experiences” and let her choose her favorite…..it was a challenge for her, I am not going to lie.)
6. Coke.  Not Diet Coke….I made sure we had “real Coke”
7. The seat at the head of the table.
8. Candles were lit everywhere.
9. Pinterest (Both the Fried Green Beans and Banana Pie were from Pinterest)
10. A lot of DRAMA thanks to the newest Drama Queen of the family, Lucye Jane.

I love Pinterest just like the next person.  However, I try not to use it too much as a time vacuum.  Generally I use it for inspiration to create something new.  I only follow people who I admire their style and most of the people I follow I have never met face to face.  Here are a few things that have inspired me over the last couple of weeks!!!  You can sum it up best with books, food, knitting and words….some of my favorite things!

My last post was about the Pomodoro Technique.  You might have noticed that things got a little quiet around here shortly after that post went live.  Well, thanks to a comment by a reader and now close friend, I have put into play both a rotational meal plan and most exciting…..a new weekly schedule.  I am still tweaking things, but so far so good.  Here is what it looks like….

Monday — Home Related Chores/Shopping

Tuesday — Work

Wednesday — A DAY OF SERVICE

Thursday — Work

Friday — Finish things up and time to myself

Weekend — Hang with friends and family…..be spontaneous

 I will need an entire post to cover each of these days…..especially “Work” since I do not work in the conventional sense of the word…..i.e. I am unemployed/ I do not receive monetary compensation for anything that I do in my life unless you count the birthday checks I receive each year. 

I figure I will start with the day that I am most excited about.  Wednesday – A Day of Service.  Homelessness, hunger, illiteracy, preventative health care….basically all issues dealing with those living in poverty is where my heart pulled me in college, graduate school and in my career.  I am a HUGE fan of Ruby Payne and one of the things in my life I am most proud of is the Literacy Program that I used to run was the first Faith Based Organization to receive an AmeriCorps Grant in the state of Oklahoma.  I am a huge advocate for finding ways that faith based organizations can contribute to eliminating issues of poverty in a non-judgmental and non-coercive way.  Why faith based?….I live in Oklahoma….there are a lot of people of faith and this is what God calls us to do…..take care of God’s Children.

This passion is not something that I have completely neglected, but it has been on the back burner since I stopped working.  Now, instead of daily putting myself out as a voice for the voiceless, advocating for literacy and equal education for all of our children, I provide more of a whisper.  I tutor at the local Public School where my children attend.  Tutor reading because that is where I feel I can make the biggest contribution.  Public School because, although they are not perfect, I do believe in them and more than anything I want a society that is committed to educating all of OUR children.

My whisper also comes through collecting canned goods with my children for various food drives, caring for our toys and books and then giving them away in the best condition possible to those who do not have them, driving my kids all over the OKC metro area to purchase gifts for kids at Christmas, delivering food and gifts to the homebound, serving on the Mission Team at my church and then being asked to resign when I would not settle for anything less than a comprehensive approach to reach all of the needs of those struggling with poverty in our community.  This passion has remained steadfast through much joy and  much dissapointment.

Although I am committed to these things, there is a voice in my head that says, “you would be much more influential if you went back to non-profit work.”  And, “who is going to take you seriously as a stay at home mom?”  Regardless, I press on and now I have a day, every week that I will commit to this passion.  Now, every time that I find out about an opportunity or I am asked to commit to something that deals with these issues, I have a day that week that I can say “yes”.  I am not sure how this will evolve, but I am excited to find out.  I will let you know.

***The pictures in this post are just two of the many I took at the OKC Martin Luther King Parade a couple of weeks ago.  The boys went for the first time and had a glimpse of what MLK did for us and celebrated A Day of Service.

So, here lies the dilemma, where do I spend my time?  I wake up on Monday and tell myself that I have so ordered my life that I can keep the must do balls in the air while I am working on my latest “project(s)”.  Then, I get up, go work out, return home and *BAM I am back to my hamster wheel doing laundry, picking up breakfast, retuning calls and emails….the day is over and I am exhausted and defeated.

 How does this happen EVERY WEEK???  Newish plan (well, I do this with housecleaning, because I despise cleaning my house….I know, what a great house wife I am….please refer to last week’s post).  The Pomodoro Technique.  It goes something like this…

1. Make a list of your to-do’s
2. Set a timer for (25 Minutes)
3. Do a task
4. Take a 5 Minute Break (more coffee for me)
5. On to the next task (every 4 breaks you take a longer break)

This seems totally doable.  So the first thing I did was find an alarm on my phone that would not send me into a seizure every time it goes off…I currently have it set to church bells.  Then, I made my list and I am off.  We will see how it goes but if nothing else, I will have thoughts of Tomatoes in my head all of the time.  I love a good Sin Apple.  And who knew there is even an App for that although I kind of just want a cute Tomato Timer!  What do you do to stay focused?

But, things are really looking up around here.  We now have the Thunder, our local NBA team.  Devon is erecting a huge tower in downtown that will forever change our city’s skyline.  The Myriad Gardens have become a amazing place to spend an afternoon and I cannot get enough of the amazing restaurants and multiple art districts.

Law Man and I love our date nights.  Last week was no different.  I was feeling a little under the weather and he was running late so I killed a little time on Twitter.  @LudivineOKC was serving a Seafood Stew and it sounded delicious.  Much to my surprise, when LM walked in and said we were heading to Ludivine I was THRILLED and I knew exactly what I was going to order.  The Stew was delicious and I got a crazy hair that I could recreate this little bit of heaven.

Tuesday I stopped by Whole Foods (Oklahoma even has a Whole Foods now and it is minutes from my house).  I stocked up on fresh seafood (Squid, Scallops and EVEN Mussels) and headed down the bean aisle to find some dark colored lentils.  I measured out the correct amount and checked out.  I was sure not to close off the bag mussels because they “would suffocate” I was told.  Who knew they were still alive in the store?  Probably a stupid question, but I am in the middle of the landlocked states.

It took me a good 24 hours to find the courage to combine the two recipes that I thought I could adjust to create just the meal I was going for, but I did it.  Last night I, Amy Curran, made a seafood stew from scratch….fresh fish and all.  And, it did not disappoint.  I will definitely make this stew again.  Next time I will invite over some friends because it made enough for the entire street.  So, I am officially landlocked no more.

1. “You knit, do you ever sell your work?”
2. “What great parties you throw, have you considered becoming a party planner?”
3. “I can hardly imagine what it is like to wake up every morning and have nothing that I just have to do for work.”
4. “With all your talent, surely you can find someway to market it and make some money.”

Now, don’t get me wrong.  Making money is good and some day I may even find my way back into the work force.  I made a very conscious decision not to work after I had Little Guy.  I did not come to this conclusion because I wanted to be there for every possible need my children and Law Man had from then to eternity.  I made the decision that life was about relationships and experiences and that I have a finite amount of time to be a mother to these sweet (often very ornery) kids and Law Man and I were in a financial position we could manage it.

I feel privileged to have the opportunity to stay home with my boys and I know that it is not for everyone.  It took me several years to learn that I can say no just like the mom who has a 60 hours a week career.  Not only can I say no, I must say no sometimes.  I have learned, over time, that I can be in the moment when the weather is perfect and all of our obligations are met and the boys and I spend the whole day at the park with nothing on our minds but the warm sun on our faces.  I am also in the moment when I have failed to meet expectation, boys are ill and the world seems to judge me for allowing balls to fall since “all I do is stay home with the kids.”

Just like the days when I was a working mom, I take the good with the bad.  I pat myself on the back during those “I can do it all” days and give myself a bit of grace when it is clear I cannot.  I spend time with those I love.  I enjoy the company of myself.  I laugh when I make mistakes that I know my mother tried to teach me to avoid.  And, I will continue to bite my tongue when very well intentioned people try to turn my passions into profit.  I have more than I could ever want or need and when I knit or party plan or paint or create it is out of love for that person who will receive it and often it is just for me.

I was asked once after a snarky remark, if I saw myself as a pessimist or a realist.  I guess in the same vain one could ask if I am selfish or self actualized.  Perhaps it is in the eye of the beholder.  I know that those who love me see me more as the latter in both accounts.

However, with the good comes the bad.  I am pretty sure my sister Tracy, would agree that our ploy to deliver Lucye ASAP was one of the worst.  We were somewhere between excited to meet that sweet girl and VERY nervous about Tracy’s insistance to have a VBAC.  She was forced into a c-cection when the twins had complications and ever since she has insisted that she would not do that again.  Now, I will not go into details about childbirth on this blog but let’s just say we have had some major drama in the delivery room for three of the five kiddos.  Luckily two were delivered together.

We decided that Friday, February 25th was the day that little Lulu should be born.  Friday, was the day of the week my mom and both of my sisters were born.  Again, without going into details, Tracy was clearly approaching time to deliver the baby.  The plan began on the 24th.  We all invited ourselves over to Tracy’s house to *watch* HER make US dinner.

I was sure that after working all day and then preparing a big family style meal, Lucye would make an appearance.  No such luck.

So, the next day, we had planned to all be together oohing and awing over the new baby.  Plan B.  A family game of charades with a few special rules.

1. No mention of the words Baby/Lucye/Pregnancy….you get the picture.
2. DO NOT ask Tracy how she is feeling
3. In fact, just all together pretend she is not pregnate at all.

The game started off pretty slow and the new dad was really not into it.  However, the more we went on doing the silliest things possible to not be on the losing team, the more we all got into it

.

Finally, the new dad was into it as much as the rest of us.  

Tracy was up and down and even on the floor.  We were laughing so hard I thought the baby might just pop out on the floor.  Four rounds and hours later, no baby.  Finally, we gave up.  But not before Law Man had his first heart to heart with is newest niece.

 The first week of 2012 has been full of reflection and resolution.  In cleaning up my computer to speed things up a bit, I came across a letter I wrote to my niece who was born last March.  I have a special place in my heart for each of my children and all of my nieces and nephews, but it is a strange thing to look at this little girl and see so much of my mother and grandmother.  Little LuLu has brought us all so much joy!

February 24, 2011 (Eleven days after I spent the day praying for sweet Jude Eli and two days after we spent all evening playing family charades trying to cajole Little LJ out….I just realized I never posted about this.  Tomorrow!!!  I promise.)

Dear Lucye,

I am sitting down to write you a letter because you and your mom are all I can think about this morning.  We are so excited about your arrival, but your mom is being stubborn and is insisting that she stay with her 5^th grade class until you are “really ready” to be born.

There are several reasons I am so excited for your arrival….the pink, the bows, the shopping….although I am not a big shopper…..and our future trips to New York and Paris.  I am also excited about what your birth will represent.  The past few years have been so painful for your mom, Aunt Mary and me.  We loved our mother, your grandmother so much, but it became clear that we could not save her and she finally gave up the fight.  That was one of the biggest defeats of my life and I am sure my sisters would say the same.

Your birth feels like a new start.  Not a complete do over, just a new bud on a tree that has been dormant for awhile.  I love your brother’s name, Jesse.  Every time I hear it I am reminded of the verse in the Bible that is included to trace the genealogy of Christ.  “There shall come a shoot from the stump of Jesse…”  Isaiah 11.  You represent what is left.  Not just the memory of your grandmother, but a legacy.  A legacy that although went through a dormant phase, is still present.  It is a legacy that came from generations of love and struggle, from both you mother’s family and the family of your father.  It gives us permission to take our family story and go on to create another chapter.  This is the chapter where we can decide the ending and can heal from the past.

Your name and gender are such clear signs of this transformation, but your brothers and cousins are equally a part of the destiny of this family.  Your aunts and uncles, mom and dad, will do our best to lead you in a way that allows you to find peace and happiness, but as you get older, the hard part will be up to you.  You alone can decide what God’s plans are for your life.

Your mother is one of the strongest people I know….in fact, at times this is her weakness.  My prayer for you is that you find strength in your relationships with others and let them hold you up when you feel weak.  Your mother is also stubborn, she willed your brothers into this world and she is willing you into being as well.  I anticipate you will inherit this characteristic too.  Use it wisely, it can either lift you up or hold you down.

I know in my heart your grandma Patti is holding you right now, ready to hand you into our care; we are ready.  Kiss her for us….it is time for you to arrive.

We will love you forever!  Please let her know that it is her love and devotion that will be our family legacy.

Aunt Amy

Score! I will make the most of this!

So, we have two resolutions that we have been painstakingly working on over the past few days.

1. Get ourselves dressed. This is a no brainer for Big Guy, but Little Guy is not super confident with the idea. I realized that I have just been throwing clothes on him each morning and evening so we are not late to take Big Guy to his next event. BAD MOM! I am trying to correct my ways….but I am paying for it now.

2. Practice Healthy Eating. We are fairly healthy eaters, but a few bad habits have snuck in while we were busy living life. So, I have introduced a two part plan that really seems to be working. (I must post about it now in case it does not survive the weekend.) Snack time has become a frequent trip to our “snack drawer” full of processed food ridden with sugar and carbs and the boys are ALWAYS hungry. So, starting yesterday, we have a “snack tray” that sits on the table from after school until dinner time. I will place 5-7 healthy but good snacks and they may munch on anything they want whenever they are hungry after school. I told them I will always have one item I know they love and every week there will be something they have never tried before.

Much to my surprise, they both think this is the greatest thing ever. They ate and ate and never finished all of the snacks. They did not ask for anything all afternoon and we made it to 6:30 and had a healthy dinner with Law Man. (This almost never happens…..usually by 5ish I make them dinner to squelch the snacking that I have lost control over.) They are even asking for me to find new things to put on the tray.

Part 2….simple. They no longer are able to ask for desert after dinner…..a habit we have picked up from Law Man’s side of the family. If I notice that they have willingly participated in healthy eating throughout the day, I may offer them a suitable “desert”.

2012 is off to a Good Mom Year. It may only last a few days…..but I will take it!