Category Archives: Create and Sustain

Hello, World

My goal for 2015 was to get started in the next phase of my life.  I did not know what that would look like, but I knew I was ready for something.  I spent 2014 preparing and then the search was on.  I went back and forth between volunteer and paid opportunities…..for profit and not for profit….agency work and traditional office work….and on, and on, and on.  I joined LinkedIn….becuase that seemed like something proactive I could do…. and documented some of this journey on my blog.  Just as I was getting close to returning to a traditional nine to five the holidays hit and opportunities began to pour in.

I should have been thrilled but instead, I flipped out.  I became overwhelmed with anxiety and could not make a decision.  The change I had worked for came and I resisted.  This is what I do.  I do not like change…it makes me very nervous.

On Handwork

I have found my center again.  It always seems to come with the change of seasons.  The rhythm seems to be three seasons on and one off.  In the past I have noticed it is summer off, but this year it was winter and I have missed it.  Handwork.  My obsession began around the time I had my first baby. I began with knitting and eventually experimented with spinning and crochet and most recently needlepoint and weaving.

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27March2014Photo3Photos of my Great Grandmother knitting next to her boys.

I remember laying on my mother’s lap at the end of the day while she did her needlepoint just over my head.  I would watch her work from the underside of the canvas.  Eventually I would get lost in the rhythm until I dozed off to sleep.

Recently, I listened to Ann Hamilton recall a similar account.

“I was very close with my grandmother. And you know, I have really distinct bodily memories of sitting next to her on the couch. You know, when you’re little and you kind of get in that space under her arm and her arms were full. And, we would knit, or needlepoint, and she would read. And I think there’s something about the rhythm of the hands being busy and then your body falls open to absorb and concentrate on what you’re listening to, but not completely, because you have two concentrations. And then from that, that sort of cultivates a kind of attention. That is the rhythm of those two things together. So the unfolding of the voice in space, and then the material accreting under your hand, and they have really different satisfactions.”

27March2014My First Weaving Project

I love the thought of my children seeing a hand knitted throw or a needle pointed pillow and feeling comforted and at peace.  Knowing that they watched me almost unconsciously for hours as they grew.  Stitch by stitch creating something out of nothing.

I love this short video by Renate Hiller.  If you have ever wanted to understand why some of us obsess over fiber and handwork, give this a look.

 

 

 

I Fear Often “My Privilege is Showing”

Today the boys and I are home again.  It is Martin Luther King Day.  Every year I try to plan something special.  An event or activity that would help them grasp the meaning of the day.  I have seen a couple of events advertised, but they all seem to be for a specific group, a group of which we are not a part.  We have been to the parade, three times.  Each time I feel like an outsider.  I feel like we are celebrating our differences rather than our similarities.  I feel like this “is not intended for us.”  I cannot help but feel that it is the most segregated day of the year and this seems like it goes against all of the things I have tried to instill in my children.  

Heading Down a Rocky Road

I posted in January that this was going to be a year of preparation for me.  I was not sure what that meant, but I decided to see where it led me.  All I will say is that I feel prepared.  Prepared to chisel my life in a way that supports my creative longings and keeps me available for my children during these precious years when they are home.  I feel like I have a clear head and the only thing I need is to be careful not to jump into too many things too fast.

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Photograph Life With Bill Cunningham

Last January, I watched a wonderful documentary about fashion and photography.  I laugh when I even think about me posting about fashion.  I am not the most fashion conscious person…..in fact, I think my fashion is somewhere between functional and comfortable.  But, the truth is, I do really like fashion.  What most interests me is what people choose to wear that functions in their everyday life.  That is to say….if you try too hard, I am just not interested.

Back to the film.  It is Bill Cunningham New York.