I love this Library Dining Room…..it needs a little modern touch…but the idea seems perfect.

I have always loved a good book, but when I had the two babies….reading became an unattainable luxury that I thought I might not ever get to experience again.  I know there are a lot of moms who read for them selves all of the time, but I suffered from a major case of Reading Narcolepsy.  However, now that the boys are four and five, reading has come back into my life and I love it.

I consider myself fairly old school when it comes to a good book.  I have said time and time again that I want to hold it in my hands….flip though it….stack them up….write in them….and keep them forever.  That was until I had an iPad…..I love to read on that thing.  I have always been a slow reader, but I swear I can read faster when I look at the digital words.  The lighting is always good and I can make the print as large as I need to when I get sleepy.  I have read several books on it…my favorite as of yet is the Millennium Trilogy.  It has become the guilty pleasure that I read at the gym on the cardio machines…..another benefit….the iPad is so easy to read when you are on a machine.

Now, here lies the dilemma.  I have fond memories of going through my parents vast number of books that had been read and saved over their years and I loved to see what they found interesting.  As I got older, I would even laugh to myself when I found a book that seemed a little out of what I would expect they would read and save and I would assume that it must have been a gift that was inadvertently kept.  Let me tell you, when I get a book I would not want to define me thirty years from now, I generously give it away…I do not want to cause my children the confusion my parents caused me.    Back to the real dilemma.  How am I going to have books that define me if they are all in digital format.

Solution:  (well, the best one I have found thus far)  I buy the digital book and if I love it, I buy the hardback….I have even gone back and noted some of my thoughts in one after I had completed its digital counterpart.

What do you do regarding books for posterity?

I have always dreamed of what I like to call an “ugly library”.  A library full of books that me and my family have read, loved, taken notes in, left coffee rings on, etc….  Probably a weird dream, but I have held it since I was a kid.  Today I was reading one of my favorite blogs, The Inspired Room, and they talk about a making a multipurpose room that would be a library + dining…..I could combine two of my passions….food and books.  I am going to have to look into this in my next house…..somehow I need a way to keep the dust from the books off the yummy food.

Until then, I will put a few book reviews on here….. a little less of the who, what, when, where, why…..you can get that on Amazon.  Here, it will be more of my oh so interesting take and thoughts on the book.  Enjoy….and by the way, I usually read non-fiction.  As my oldest says, “I like things that really happened.” 

Happy Friday!

I mentioned a few days ago that I love Anne Lamott.  I am reading her new book, Imperfect Birds, and it has me thinking about how much I love quotes.  I try not to use them too much on this blog, I hate it when I read a blog that is just quote after quote.  But,

Today is my birthday and I will quote if I want to!!!    It will be my little gift to myself.

“Life on earth is a head-scratcher for anyone who’s paying attention.”  Rae tells Elizabeth when talking about depression.  Imperfect Birds, Anne Lamott

“I was crushed for a while after Ty dumped me, but it really is easier to experience spiritual connection when your life is in the process of coming apart…  There was meaning in pain; it taught you how to survive with a modicum of grace when you did not get what you wanted.”  Reflecting on a breakup with a boyfriend.  Grace (Eventually), Anne Lamott

“Prayer is not asking for what you think you want, but asking to be changed in ways you can’t imagine.”  Anne Lamott quoting Kathleen Norris.  Grace (Eventually), Anne Lamott

Yes, I know…these are all Anne Lamott quotes.  I could quote Rumi, Kahlil Gibran, Thoreau, Dave Matthews, Jimmy Buffett…I love them all, but….again, this is my birthday and I feel like Anne Lamott.  In fact, I am kind of considering what David Letterman did with Oprah and Rosie O’Donnell did with Tom Cruise.  Maybe if I mention her enough on my blog, she will respond.

Who do you like to quote?  Send me a quote for my birthday.  I would love it!!!!

**And yes….I did pose my Anne Lamott books in the flowers just like I do my children, and my yarn….I *heart* them all.

Some digress…..I obsess, and obsess, and obsess!  With that in mind, I love Anne Lamott.  I have read all of her non-fiction at least two or three times and I have read most of her fiction.

I will admit to asking friends and acquaintances, “Do you read Anne Lamott?” as a bit of a test.  I know we will get along if you are a fan.  And trust me, it is difficult to find many people here in Oklahoma that don’t think I am a little bit crazy.  Let’s just say….I am on a lot of prayer lists.

I love Anne’s view on faith and forgiveness and peace.  It even made an appearance in the first chapter of her new book.

“Rae was Rosie’s authority on all things spiritual, because her beliefs were so simple and kind.  You were loved because God loves, period.  God loved you, and everyone, not because you believed certain things, but because you were a mess, and lonely, and His or Her child.  God loved you no matter how crazy you felt on the inside, no matter what a fake you were; always, even in your current condition, even before coffee.  God loves you crazily, like I love you, Rae said, like a slightly overweight auntie, who sees only your marvelousness and need.” — Imperfect Birds

One of the people who shared my love for Lamott was my mom.  She and I did not always agree on things regarding God and faith.  Mom was always a little bit too focused on God’s judgment.  She always told me that God loved us unconditionally, but I knew from many of our conversations that in her soul she was concerned….worried that God did not love her, worried that she did not do the right things, worried that God was going to “do something” to show her that she had made mistakes.  And, let’s just say….”the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree”  She would obsess over these things.

I remember coming home from college one weekend and she told me about this book she was reading at one of her Bible Studies.  I remember thinking, oh great, please keep your “how God created women to be the perfect servant” propaganda away from me.  And…by the way, “please do not ask your Prayer Group to ‘pray for me.’  I do not need the entire town to be informed by my latest transgressions.”  I was shocked, really shocked when she brought out her copy of Traveling Mercies.  I told her that I had read that a couple of times and I loved it.  This led to one of the most meaningful conversations I had with my mother about faith.

When Mom died, I went back to this book and turned to the chapter, Mom.  Tears streaming as I read it…..things had changed so much in the 10 years since I had first read these words and I was understanding her words with a depth in which I would never wish upon anyone.

“My mother turns to Sam.  ‘Let’s go for a walk,’ she says.  He doesn’t want to.  He always wants to race down to the shore and just plunge in.  But he’s glad to be with her.  The fact that she’s wearing a sweater does not seem to annoy him.  I watch carefully.  I tell you, families are definitely the training ground for forgiveness.  At some point you pardon the people in your family for being stuck together in all their weirdness, and when you can do that, you can learn to pardon anyone.  Even yourself, eventually.  It’s like learning to drive on an old car with a tricky transmission: if you can master shifting gears on that, you can learn to drive anything.  I keep watching.  Sam takes his grandmother’s hand.  I feel like sobbing with grief that my mother is old, that she won’t always be around, and with despair at what an erratic daughter I am.  But it’s not a big deal to Sam.  He just wants to help her find her balance.” –Traveling Mercies

Mom and I even went to see Anne Lamott speak in Tulsa a few years ago.  It was amazing.  I loved how she was exactly like I pictured her to be.  She was dressed in a loose fitting cotton dress with a coordinating cardigan….I hadn’t pictured the cardigan, but it all made sense when she took it on and off at least a half dozen times during her presentation….blaming it on menopause.  I really enjoyed sitting in a room packed full of like minded people.  I felt like it confirmed my beliefs that God does love us with all of our blemishes not in spite of them.  I really loved that my mom was there with me and she was smiling.

With my birthday coming up, I am feeling nervous.  I am nervous that I will not feel that usual connection I feel with my mother on the one day, no matter where she was, what she was doing, who she was with…..she was thinking of me and smiling.  It does help that Anne Lamott has a birthday the same week as me and that she just had a new book come out.  So, Happy Birthday Annie (tomorrow) and thanks for serving as a way for me to connect to my mom in such a spiritual way.

That aside….What the *Heck is going on with this blog?

If you are a regular reader, I am sure you have noticed this site changing with the Oklahoma Wind.  I am obsessing!!!!  Big surprise!  I am trying to decide what direction I want to take this site.  I am thinking about continuing with the general blog but adding separate blog/pages things like:

My Studio (photography/painting/sewing/knitting/digital and web)

Foodie Fun (because I love to cook, photograph food, and of course eat local)

“Colors of Creation”….this would cover more thought provoking posts of the news/political/religious type…..my little outlet for being born in the Bible Belt and not always “fitting in.”  Colors alluding to the fact that we all bring different gifts and challenges to the world and things are not always BLACK and WHITE like I have often been encouraged to believe.

I am curious what you all think.  So….nose around and see what you think.  I know you are lurking….you might as well give me your input so I can meet your every need.  Well….not your every need….you know what I mean.  What would you be interested in reading about?  Please leave a comment with your thoughts and ideas!!!