One of the best things about Instagram is that it has kept me in daily contact with one of my favorite people in the universe.  She and her family moved away last summer and since then, she has made me smile with her beautiful pictures of her precious family and art.  When I realized that she was participating in the Photo a Day Challenge, I was thrilled.  Now I get to see her literally every day.  So, to return the favor….I am jumping on the bandwagon and using this to add to Curran 365…..for now anyway.  I am not promising I will have as beautiful pictures as some other, but I will try.  We will see how this “theme” each day inspires or just becomes a barrier.  Either way, you can follow the feed on the sidebar here at R&TM or on Instagram /readandtellme.

Happy Thursday!!!

I love Pinterest just like the next person.  However, I try not to use it too much as a time vacuum.  Generally I use it for inspiration to create something new.  I only follow people who I admire their style and most of the people I follow I have never met face to face.  Here are a few things that have inspired me over the last couple of weeks!!!  You can sum it up best with books, food, knitting and words….some of my favorite things!

My last post was about the Pomodoro Technique.  You might have noticed that things got a little quiet around here shortly after that post went live.  Well, thanks to a comment by a reader and now close friend, I have put into play both a rotational meal plan and most exciting…..a new weekly schedule.  I am still tweaking things, but so far so good.  Here is what it looks like….

Monday — Home Related Chores/Shopping

Tuesday — Work

Wednesday — A DAY OF SERVICE

Thursday — Work

Friday — Finish things up and time to myself

Weekend — Hang with friends and family…..be spontaneous

 I will need an entire post to cover each of these days…..especially “Work” since I do not work in the conventional sense of the word…..i.e. I am unemployed/ I do not receive monetary compensation for anything that I do in my life unless you count the birthday checks I receive each year. 

I figure I will start with the day that I am most excited about.  Wednesday – A Day of Service.  Homelessness, hunger, illiteracy, preventative health care….basically all issues dealing with those living in poverty is where my heart pulled me in college, graduate school and in my career.  I am a HUGE fan of Ruby Payne and one of the things in my life I am most proud of is the Literacy Program that I used to run was the first Faith Based Organization to receive an AmeriCorps Grant in the state of Oklahoma.  I am a huge advocate for finding ways that faith based organizations can contribute to eliminating issues of poverty in a non-judgmental and non-coercive way.  Why faith based?….I live in Oklahoma….there are a lot of people of faith and this is what God calls us to do…..take care of God’s Children.

This passion is not something that I have completely neglected, but it has been on the back burner since I stopped working.  Now, instead of daily putting myself out as a voice for the voiceless, advocating for literacy and equal education for all of our children, I provide more of a whisper.  I tutor at the local Public School where my children attend.  Tutor reading because that is where I feel I can make the biggest contribution.  Public School because, although they are not perfect, I do believe in them and more than anything I want a society that is committed to educating all of OUR children.

My whisper also comes through collecting canned goods with my children for various food drives, caring for our toys and books and then giving them away in the best condition possible to those who do not have them, driving my kids all over the OKC metro area to purchase gifts for kids at Christmas, delivering food and gifts to the homebound, serving on the Mission Team at my church and then being asked to resign when I would not settle for anything less than a comprehensive approach to reach all of the needs of those struggling with poverty in our community.  This passion has remained steadfast through much joy and  much dissapointment.

Although I am committed to these things, there is a voice in my head that says, “you would be much more influential if you went back to non-profit work.”  And, “who is going to take you seriously as a stay at home mom?”  Regardless, I press on and now I have a day, every week that I will commit to this passion.  Now, every time that I find out about an opportunity or I am asked to commit to something that deals with these issues, I have a day that week that I can say “yes”.  I am not sure how this will evolve, but I am excited to find out.  I will let you know.

***The pictures in this post are just two of the many I took at the OKC Martin Luther King Parade a couple of weeks ago.  The boys went for the first time and had a glimpse of what MLK did for us and celebrated A Day of Service.

So, here lies the dilemma, where do I spend my time?  I wake up on Monday and tell myself that I have so ordered my life that I can keep the must do balls in the air while I am working on my latest “project(s)”.  Then, I get up, go work out, return home and *BAM I am back to my hamster wheel doing laundry, picking up breakfast, retuning calls and emails….the day is over and I am exhausted and defeated.

 How does this happen EVERY WEEK???  Newish plan (well, I do this with housecleaning, because I despise cleaning my house….I know, what a great house wife I am….please refer to last week’s post).  The Pomodoro Technique.  It goes something like this…

1. Make a list of your to-do’s
2. Set a timer for (25 Minutes)
3. Do a task
4. Take a 5 Minute Break (more coffee for me)
5. On to the next task (every 4 breaks you take a longer break)

This seems totally doable.  So the first thing I did was find an alarm on my phone that would not send me into a seizure every time it goes off…I currently have it set to church bells.  Then, I made my list and I am off.  We will see how it goes but if nothing else, I will have thoughts of Tomatoes in my head all of the time.  I love a good Sin Apple.  And who knew there is even an App for that although I kind of just want a cute Tomato Timer!  What do you do to stay focused?

1. “You knit, do you ever sell your work?”
2. “What great parties you throw, have you considered becoming a party planner?”
3. “I can hardly imagine what it is like to wake up every morning and have nothing that I just have to do for work.”
4. “With all your talent, surely you can find someway to market it and make some money.”

Now, don’t get me wrong.  Making money is good and some day I may even find my way back into the work force.  I made a very conscious decision not to work after I had Little Guy.  I did not come to this conclusion because I wanted to be there for every possible need my children and Law Man had from then to eternity.  I made the decision that life was about relationships and experiences and that I have a finite amount of time to be a mother to these sweet (often very ornery) kids and Law Man and I were in a financial position we could manage it.

I feel privileged to have the opportunity to stay home with my boys and I know that it is not for everyone.  It took me several years to learn that I can say no just like the mom who has a 60 hours a week career.  Not only can I say no, I must say no sometimes.  I have learned, over time, that I can be in the moment when the weather is perfect and all of our obligations are met and the boys and I spend the whole day at the park with nothing on our minds but the warm sun on our faces.  I am also in the moment when I have failed to meet expectation, boys are ill and the world seems to judge me for allowing balls to fall since “all I do is stay home with the kids.”

Just like the days when I was a working mom, I take the good with the bad.  I pat myself on the back during those “I can do it all” days and give myself a bit of grace when it is clear I cannot.  I spend time with those I love.  I enjoy the company of myself.  I laugh when I make mistakes that I know my mother tried to teach me to avoid.  And, I will continue to bite my tongue when very well intentioned people try to turn my passions into profit.  I have more than I could ever want or need and when I knit or party plan or paint or create it is out of love for that person who will receive it and often it is just for me.

I was asked once after a snarky remark, if I saw myself as a pessimist or a realist.  I guess in the same vain one could ask if I am selfish or self actualized.  Perhaps it is in the eye of the beholder.  I know that those who love me see me more as the latter in both accounts.

 The first week of 2012 has been full of reflection and resolution.  In cleaning up my computer to speed things up a bit, I came across a letter I wrote to my niece who was born last March.  I have a special place in my heart for each of my children and all of my nieces and nephews, but it is a strange thing to look at this little girl and see so much of my mother and grandmother.  Little LuLu has brought us all so much joy!

February 24, 2011 (Eleven days after I spent the day praying for sweet Jude Eli and two days after we spent all evening playing family charades trying to cajole Little LJ out….I just realized I never posted about this.  Tomorrow!!!  I promise.)

Dear Lucye,

I am sitting down to write you a letter because you and your mom are all I can think about this morning.  We are so excited about your arrival, but your mom is being stubborn and is insisting that she stay with her 5^th grade class until you are “really ready” to be born.

There are several reasons I am so excited for your arrival….the pink, the bows, the shopping….although I am not a big shopper…..and our future trips to New York and Paris.  I am also excited about what your birth will represent.  The past few years have been so painful for your mom, Aunt Mary and me.  We loved our mother, your grandmother so much, but it became clear that we could not save her and she finally gave up the fight.  That was one of the biggest defeats of my life and I am sure my sisters would say the same.

Your birth feels like a new start.  Not a complete do over, just a new bud on a tree that has been dormant for awhile.  I love your brother’s name, Jesse.  Every time I hear it I am reminded of the verse in the Bible that is included to trace the genealogy of Christ.  “There shall come a shoot from the stump of Jesse…”  Isaiah 11.  You represent what is left.  Not just the memory of your grandmother, but a legacy.  A legacy that although went through a dormant phase, is still present.  It is a legacy that came from generations of love and struggle, from both you mother’s family and the family of your father.  It gives us permission to take our family story and go on to create another chapter.  This is the chapter where we can decide the ending and can heal from the past.

Your name and gender are such clear signs of this transformation, but your brothers and cousins are equally a part of the destiny of this family.  Your aunts and uncles, mom and dad, will do our best to lead you in a way that allows you to find peace and happiness, but as you get older, the hard part will be up to you.  You alone can decide what God’s plans are for your life.

Your mother is one of the strongest people I know….in fact, at times this is her weakness.  My prayer for you is that you find strength in your relationships with others and let them hold you up when you feel weak.  Your mother is also stubborn, she willed your brothers into this world and she is willing you into being as well.  I anticipate you will inherit this characteristic too.  Use it wisely, it can either lift you up or hold you down.

I know in my heart your grandma Patti is holding you right now, ready to hand you into our care; we are ready.  Kiss her for us….it is time for you to arrive.

We will love you forever!  Please let her know that it is her love and devotion that will be our family legacy.

Aunt Amy

Score! I will make the most of this!

So, we have two resolutions that we have been painstakingly working on over the past few days.

1. Get ourselves dressed. This is a no brainer for Big Guy, but Little Guy is not super confident with the idea. I realized that I have just been throwing clothes on him each morning and evening so we are not late to take Big Guy to his next event. BAD MOM! I am trying to correct my ways….but I am paying for it now.

2. Practice Healthy Eating. We are fairly healthy eaters, but a few bad habits have snuck in while we were busy living life. So, I have introduced a two part plan that really seems to be working. (I must post about it now in case it does not survive the weekend.) Snack time has become a frequent trip to our “snack drawer” full of processed food ridden with sugar and carbs and the boys are ALWAYS hungry. So, starting yesterday, we have a “snack tray” that sits on the table from after school until dinner time. I will place 5-7 healthy but good snacks and they may munch on anything they want whenever they are hungry after school. I told them I will always have one item I know they love and every week there will be something they have never tried before.

Much to my surprise, they both think this is the greatest thing ever. They ate and ate and never finished all of the snacks. They did not ask for anything all afternoon and we made it to 6:30 and had a healthy dinner with Law Man. (This almost never happens…..usually by 5ish I make them dinner to squelch the snacking that I have lost control over.) They are even asking for me to find new things to put on the tray.

Part 2….simple. They no longer are able to ask for desert after dinner…..a habit we have picked up from Law Man’s side of the family. If I notice that they have willingly participated in healthy eating throughout the day, I may offer them a suitable “desert”.

2012 is off to a Good Mom Year. It may only last a few days…..but I will take it!

I suppose there are some knitters out there who just find a project and start on it, but most of mine have a long history before the yarn is even cast on.  Like Shrek….I guess I am kind of like an onion and so goes my knitting process.

A year or more ago, a good friend took a trip to Portland for a wedding.  Unable to help myself, I said, “if you see a yarn shop, pick me up some yarn.”

As the story goes, they hunted down an little independent yarn store and asked for a little help.  I am not sure what they told the salesperson but they found the perfect gift for me!  It is this gorgeous yellow, grey, brown and white variegated cotton/wool mix.  AND to sweeten the deal and assure my devoted friendship forever, they bought me a pattern for a lace wrap and enough yarn to complete the project.  **Just in case you ever need to get my “friends forever” status buy me a pattern and the yarn to complete it.  I digress.

I have been swooning over this yarn and project ever since.  “Why then did it sit in its beautiful skeins for over a year,” you ask.

Because, I have guilt issues.  Guilt that this was too nice of a gift to utilize until I return the favor.  Guilt that the yarn is so beautiful and I might ruin it if I mess up the pattern.  Guilt that I really promised so and so that I would knit/or do such and such.  Guilt that I will have to periodically ignore Law Man when the lace pattern changes or I miss a YO.  Guilt that I really can’t knit other things when I knit lace.  **note to non-knitters…I have a one track mind and lace is just something you can’t cheat on.  Like I said, I have guilt issues….don’t even ask about my obsession with what to do with all of the left over cardboard from Christmas.  It almost ended in divorce.  But, in case you have guilt issues too, Goodwill recycles cardboard, any kind of cardboard.  !!!

So, I figure, what better way to start off the new year than beginning a project that is just for me, just because I can.  New Year’s Day 2012 I cast on and I have no idea when I will finish it since I have had to start over three times already.  But, I will not feel guilty I will just lust over this beautiful yarn until it becomes my beautiful wrap.

 

The idea was to finish a project and start a new one on New Year’s Eve/Day.  Knitting is my go to craft and my obsession.  Then I had to decide what to finish.  That was easy, the hat for my sweet nephew, Jude.  He was the lucky recipient of the unfinished handmade Christmas gift this year.  If you do handmade Christmas gifts, you know what I am talking about.  Two nights before Christmas Eve I was down to his hat and it was essentially finished.  Simple stockinette with a seed stitch edging.  Then that little word that makes me shy away from this type of pattern.  Kitchener.  For you non-knitters, this is basically hand sewing, which I don’t do.  Hand sewing in a way that makes the stitches look knitted.  Now, I can knit most anything, but sew.  I am terrible.  Back to two nights before Christmas Eve….I was pulling my hair out and my living room look like it had been yarn bombed.  I had reknit the hat twice just to get it “set up” properly my phone and ipad were streaming how-to videos and tutorials.  The two colors were all tangled up and I had used three different sizes of needles to help with the several attempts to salvage what I had thus far.  The children were ignored, Law Man was snapped at and dinner was neglected.  Finally, I surrendered, left the mess strewn about the sofa and rug and stomped off to bed.  The next morning, December 23, I woke up, made breakfast and sat on the couch next to my yarn.  I regained my composure and *it* came to me.  I gathered things up and stuffed them into the ottoman and went on with Christmas preparations…mind you I was hosting 12 people the next day, roasting a rack of lamb for the first time and trying to make my house look like a family Christmas celebration straight out of Norman Rockwell painting.

Fast forward 30 minutes or so, Law Man calls and anxiously asks, “How are things going.”

“Great.  I decided to finish the hat after Christmas.”

With a sigh of relief, he had the nerve to try to convince me to give my nephew the hat as is, with the promise of finishing it.  But I did have some pride left and a knotted up mess of yarn that didn’t even resemble a hat was not going to leave the depths of the ottoman until after Christmas.

So, here lies the perfect project to finish and I would learn a new technique to boot.

Voila!!!!  It turned out great!  I can’t wait to give it to him.  Happy New Year!

“The opposite of war isn’t peace….its creation!”  –La Boheme

This line applies to so many things, but in my attempt to find peace through the life changes of parenthood and losing my mother….it has really resonated with me.

So, although I have been quiet on the blog, I have been creating.  Here are a few sneak peeks….

I designed this based on the Rube Goldburg Machine to be part of the invitation to Little Guy’s 5th Birthday Party…..the Invention Convention.

A hat for my niece….Tinkerbell

I have been taking a lot of pictures with my iPhone.  I realize that I always have it with me and when I use the filters on Hipstamatic I can “create” almost anywhere.

1. Old Tree FPC Enid, 2. First Presbyterian Church, Enid, Oklahoma, 3. Enid High Football Stadium, 4. Fall Leaves, 5. One of my favorite times of the year to live on this street., 6. Front following me home from NM, 7. I love this sign!, 8. NM telling us goodbye on the morning we left., 9. Winter coming in over Hermit’s Peak

I have done my share of making things….a lot for Christmas, but quite a bit of other things too.  I am most proud of the Spy vs. Spy costumes I made for the boys on Big Guy’s Request.  They are my favorite Halloween Costumes yet and the only ones I have made.

1. Christmas Surprise, 2. Take to on a Favorite!, 3. More Christmas Surprise, 4. Scarf for Emerson School Sale, 5. Spy vs. Spy Costumes for Halloween, 6. My KNITWitch Costume, 7. Spy v. Spy process, 8. Scarf for Arabella in NM, 9. Pixie Hat for Lucye Bird

Finally, I have had the opportunity lately to admire so many other peoples creations and their process.  I think it is contagious!  

1. Burritos from Arabella in NM, 2. JD Creating…or trying to!, 3. Adam’s Creation, 4. Adam’s Full Creation, 5. Nathan trying to build a “real robot”, 6. Yarn Bomb….Victory Ranch, NM, 7. Tosha made Pumpkin Bowling for Jack o Lympics, 8. Tosha Made food for Jack o Lympics, 9. Aunt Mimi Made the boys Witches Broom treat bags, 10. OKC Myriad Gardens Opening Weekend, 11. Uncle Devin created this amazing cake for my niece’s birthday., 12. Aunt Michelle created these awesome aprons for my niece’s birthday.

When I stop to realize that all of this has been going on in just the past 30 days, it is no wonder I have been quiet on R&TM.  Now, I need to get back in the groove and create and post!!!

What have you created lately?