The first week of 2012 has been full of reflection and resolution.  In cleaning up my computer to speed things up a bit, I came across a letter I wrote to my niece who was born last March.  I have a special place in my heart for each of my children and all of my nieces and nephews, but it is a strange thing to look at this little girl and see so much of my mother and grandmother.  Little LuLu has brought us all so much joy!

February 24, 2011 (Eleven days after I spent the day praying for sweet Jude Eli and two days after we spent all evening playing family charades trying to cajole Little LJ out….I just realized I never posted about this.  Tomorrow!!!  I promise.)

Dear Lucye,

I am sitting down to write you a letter because you and your mom are all I can think about this morning.  We are so excited about your arrival, but your mom is being stubborn and is insisting that she stay with her 5^th grade class until you are “really ready” to be born.

There are several reasons I am so excited for your arrival….the pink, the bows, the shopping….although I am not a big shopper…..and our future trips to New York and Paris.  I am also excited about what your birth will represent.  The past few years have been so painful for your mom, Aunt Mary and me.  We loved our mother, your grandmother so much, but it became clear that we could not save her and she finally gave up the fight.  That was one of the biggest defeats of my life and I am sure my sisters would say the same.

Your birth feels like a new start.  Not a complete do over, just a new bud on a tree that has been dormant for awhile.  I love your brother’s name, Jesse.  Every time I hear it I am reminded of the verse in the Bible that is included to trace the genealogy of Christ.  “There shall come a shoot from the stump of Jesse…”  Isaiah 11.  You represent what is left.  Not just the memory of your grandmother, but a legacy.  A legacy that although went through a dormant phase, is still present.  It is a legacy that came from generations of love and struggle, from both you mother’s family and the family of your father.  It gives us permission to take our family story and go on to create another chapter.  This is the chapter where we can decide the ending and can heal from the past.

Your name and gender are such clear signs of this transformation, but your brothers and cousins are equally a part of the destiny of this family.  Your aunts and uncles, mom and dad, will do our best to lead you in a way that allows you to find peace and happiness, but as you get older, the hard part will be up to you.  You alone can decide what God’s plans are for your life.

Your mother is one of the strongest people I know….in fact, at times this is her weakness.  My prayer for you is that you find strength in your relationships with others and let them hold you up when you feel weak.  Your mother is also stubborn, she willed your brothers into this world and she is willing you into being as well.  I anticipate you will inherit this characteristic too.  Use it wisely, it can either lift you up or hold you down.

I know in my heart your grandma Patti is holding you right now, ready to hand you into our care; we are ready.  Kiss her for us….it is time for you to arrive.

We will love you forever!  Please let her know that it is her love and devotion that will be our family legacy.

Aunt Amy

Score! I will make the most of this!

So, we have two resolutions that we have been painstakingly working on over the past few days.

1. Get ourselves dressed. This is a no brainer for Big Guy, but Little Guy is not super confident with the idea. I realized that I have just been throwing clothes on him each morning and evening so we are not late to take Big Guy to his next event. BAD MOM! I am trying to correct my ways….but I am paying for it now.

2. Practice Healthy Eating. We are fairly healthy eaters, but a few bad habits have snuck in while we were busy living life. So, I have introduced a two part plan that really seems to be working. (I must post about it now in case it does not survive the weekend.) Snack time has become a frequent trip to our “snack drawer” full of processed food ridden with sugar and carbs and the boys are ALWAYS hungry. So, starting yesterday, we have a “snack tray” that sits on the table from after school until dinner time. I will place 5-7 healthy but good snacks and they may munch on anything they want whenever they are hungry after school. I told them I will always have one item I know they love and every week there will be something they have never tried before.

Much to my surprise, they both think this is the greatest thing ever. They ate and ate and never finished all of the snacks. They did not ask for anything all afternoon and we made it to 6:30 and had a healthy dinner with Law Man. (This almost never happens…..usually by 5ish I make them dinner to squelch the snacking that I have lost control over.) They are even asking for me to find new things to put on the tray.

Part 2….simple. They no longer are able to ask for desert after dinner…..a habit we have picked up from Law Man’s side of the family. If I notice that they have willingly participated in healthy eating throughout the day, I may offer them a suitable “desert”.

2012 is off to a Good Mom Year. It may only last a few days…..but I will take it!

I know all of you older and wiser people are shaking your heads as you read this, but I honestly did think this was how life was going to be.  I never liked the phrase stay-at-home mom and SAHM makes me crazy.  I am not a housewife……or homemaker…..I am married to Law Man and I couldn’t keep a shoe box in immaculate order if my life depended on it, much less a home.  A friend recently put it to me this way, “we stay home to raise spectacular people who will go into the world feeling loved and accepted for who they are.”  This comes the closest to my feelings although this somewhat implies perfection and their is nothing about parenthood that is perfect.  I never sat expected this to be the place my life would end up.  I always thought I would work and have children.  Back to my never say never disorder.

Things have changed so much since I stopped working….for money….it does not make me feel any better to call what I do now “my new work”.  Because frankly, who is going to fire me?  And there is, for sure, no one paying me?  I get evaluated by everyone I meet, but it is not the same.  More terrifying than the decision to stop working is the realization that someday I may reenter the workforce.  Big things that have changed.

1. There was no such thing as an iPhone…..imagine doing your job without a smart phone.  There was definitely no iPad….that would have been awesome!
2. DSLR cameras, as we know them, did not exist.
3. TOM’S Shoes were just coming out.
4. We still did not think we would have a black President of the United States of America.
5. Unemployment has almost doubled.

***Please note that I do like nature, sweating, hiking and even camping….for one night only.  But I am not sure Den Mom is for me.  The above pictures are from a hike we rearranged our entire schedule in Vail, CO to take just last month.

I am doing great on my “bucket list”……I prefer to call it a compost pile.  You know, that list of things you say you will “never” do.  Well, my mother told me, “never say never” but like so many other things I didn’t listen.  My “pile” goes something like this….

I will never….

• Take my baby to the grocery store without putting socks on him.
• Go to church on a Wednesday night.
• Let my kids watch Spongebob Square Pants.
• Worry that my kids are bored.
• Stop working to stay home with my kids.
• Make Law Man dinner if he comes home after 7:30 pm.

The list goes on and on.  The latest #epicfail…..I will NEVER be a leader of Boy Scouts.  I know….I am horrible.  I am a terrible, awful, no good, very bad PERSON.  But, Boy Scouts is just not for me.  I didn’t even like Camp Fire.  The only thing that made that experience tolerable was our awesome Camp Fire Mom/Leader…..I don’t know what her official title was but it was not “Epawa” or whatever I will soon be known as.  I remember one time we were supposed to “go camping.”  We basically took our slumber party full of sweets, nail polish and McDonalds out to a tent on their “ranch” and slept.  Then we went inside the cabin, cleaned up and went to town for breakfast.  Highlight of the trip…we got to take turns driving our fearless leader’s 1989 Taurus Wagon.  It was awesome.  The second highlight was when she got pulled over for speeding on our way home.  All of us Campfire Girls were in the back…..behind the backseat laying down and we stuck french fries out of our mouths like we were smoking when the officer walked by to do is vehicle check.

Geesh, how times have changed….now I suppose I will need to make sure we have 5 point harnesses for each boy in the Pack…..not Troop, Pack.  I stand corrected.  And children smoking, riding in the trunk and driving their parents cars has become so taboo.

Here is what I have learned a few things from my two scouting meetings, thus far.

• As long as I wear heels I think I can avoid the “uniform”.
• They call the Big Guy’s Pack (1^st Grade) Cub Scouts NOT Boy Scouts.  I can’t seem to get this in my head, but apparently it is a big deal.
• They earn (not win) badges (not patches).  I think I have that right…and something about belt loops.
• The other (primarily male) leaders scowl at you when you suggest that you ask your brother in law to fix the “pushcart” for the pushcart races.  Apparently these are little wood boxes with wheels and no brakes that the boys ride in and “get hurt while having fun.”

I still have to figure out what the Pack Meeting and “Arrow Ceremony” are all about.  What I understand now is that they take a long time and there is a lot of sitting and listening, but they are VERY IMPORTANT.

Needless to say, I am not equipped to be a Den Mom.  That is what they call it….I thought a den was where the kids gathered to watch TV…Nope that is what we call our little covey of boys that pretend to sit and learn about being prepared leaders when all they are really thinking about is, “when do we get to use a pocket knife and shoot a bow and arrow?”  They are going to be sorely disappointed when they find out that their Den Mom has more than a slight aversion to weapons.

I think part of the problem is that I just have very different ideas about what it means to “be with nature” and “be prepared”.  Let’s just say a public campsite with 60+ boys and their families is not my vision.  I do hope there is some serious talk about hiking etiquette.  Maybe even cotillion for the outdoors.  At the very least….stay on the trails, talk quietly and leave nature alone (i.e. don’t break of tree limbs, step on the bugs, harass the wildlife).  As for preparedness, go with a buddy and bring a cell phone.  If all else fails follow the water down the mountain.  Which brings up the last thing…..we are doing all of this in Oklahoma, land of the extreme temperature and no water or mountains.

Someone please leave me some advice on Scouting.

Giving Grandma the flower he made

We had such a great time and it went just as you would expect…..Grandma drove 25 minutes to my house to pick me up, I made lunch for both of us, we arrived and had no idea where to go, we were asked to go outside in the hot but wet courtyard, and Little Guy sat with his friends and did not really eat a thing.  Then he got up, lost control of the stick I asked him to put down….the stick flew into another mother’s lunch….he tried to climb a tree and then ran and ran and ran.  He paused twice once for me to open his chips and once to give me and Grandma a kiss.  IT WAS SO WORTH IT!

My Grandparents at Mom and Dad’s Wedding

Nanny at my second birthday party

Grandma Brown never liked her picture to be taken….but this is one of my favorites….she is in the red with her little sister a couple of years ago.

Nanny holding Big Guy

I remember as a child that every time my grandparents came to something it must be “really important”.  Now, as a parent, I realize exactly why his precious school asked grandparents to come have lunch and meet their friends.  This is such an important part of their lives at four and a half.

I am so thankful for the time I had with my grandparents growing up.  I am also so pleased at the way life has allowed my boys to spend time with their grandparents.  They have different relationships with each set, just as I did.  But, my dad and Dillon’s parents make sure to do what they can to offer their love and get to know each nuance of my precious boys.  The boys get to know my mom from the stories my sisters and I tell and her wonderful brothers and sister’s in laws who go above and beyond.

I will say there have been times when I want to hog my kids all to myself or not go to “the trouble” of getting two little guys out for a holiday or family get together and yet I remember with such fondness Grandma, Nanny and Papa.  Selfishly I am so happy that I realized these important relationships early in my parenting….planting seeds for my little guys of how great grandparents are……like ME!  :)

Off to pick up the sweet little guys who will be tired and starving, nurse them back to tolerable creatures and take them to Cub Scouts.  Did I mention I am now a Den Mom.  REALLY?  This should be interesting.

Law Man often gets frustrated with me because I am constantly doing and/or thinking about at least half a dozen things at any one time.  My only response has been, “Try being me.  It’s not easy to be in my head.”

When mornings like today happen, I am all out of sorts.

Last night we came home exhausted from the pool.  I took the kids out there to have one last summer hoorah.  I kept telling myself that other people do fun activities after school.  Their kids are not too tired.  I should do more than bring them home and do homework.  The boys will be fine.  Right?  WRONG!!!

My kids were crying on the way home telling me that I “made them stay at the pool too long.”  Mind you it was only 6:45 pm.

I get them home and Law Man took over.  I could not hear one more whine or complaint so I go hide in the basement laundry room better know as the dungeon.  It is my one safe haven.  Big Guy says that witches must live down there because witches live in dark dirty places.  You get the picture.

Law Man puts them down and goes back to the office to “prepare for trial”.  The night is fairly quiet other than my old, very stubborn, very deaf dog apparently coerced her love interest, the neighbors black lab, out onto the streets.  My dog made it home…..as she always does.  Their dog got lost.  After a street wide search party, the dog was delivered home safely only to puke all over their carpet as soon as he walked in the door.  Yep, neighbor of the year, right here.

I go to bed.  Law Man is still out.  I toss and turn because no matter how much I want to believe I am a feminist, I can never go to sleep until my husband is safely home.  I don’t think that makes me less of a feminist, do you?  There I go, off track again.

Sometime in the middle of the night Big Guy comes running into our room screaming and crying.  He had a “bad dream.”  I look over and Law Man has made it home.  FINALLY, I can get some good sleep.  I tell Big Guy to go back to bed or sleep on my floor.  You know, I am NOT going to be that parent who lets them get in my bed every time he has a bad dream.  AND he is 6 years old weighing in at a hefty 65+ lbs.  This works for about 20 minutes and then he starts whining that he wants to get in our bed.

Law Man wakes from his coma to utter something to the effect of, “Take him away, I have to sleep, I have trial tomorrow.”  So, away we go.  Big Guy and I climb up to his single top bunk and hunker down for what I know will be a miserable nights sleep.  I toss, he turns and kicks and my face ends up smashed into one of the wood slats that is supposed to keep us from falling onto the floor.

Time goes by….I am not sure what time it is when I hear little guy.  Coming in from outside.  As in, outside of the house.  Roaming the streets like the neighbors dog.  I call for him and he comes up.  ”Is daddy still here?” I ask.

“Yep.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yep.”

I look out the window to see if Law Man’s truck is out there.  Nope.  So, I tell Little Guy that daddy has already gone to work.

“No.  His car is out there.  Let me show you.”  He says as he drags me outside to point across the street and into the neighbor’s driveway.  The car is gone now so he tells me that he must have already left.

“Why would dad park in the neighbors driveway?” I ask.

Little Guy shrugs his shoulders and goes in to eat breakfast.  At this point he shows me his two slugs that he has been carrying around.  When I ask where he found them, he calmly told me that he saw them as he was walking around outside looking for mom and dad.  GREAT!  We eat.  We rush.  We get out the door.  We arrive to school in the nick of time and Little Guy decides he wants to be my cling on.  I strip him off return to my car.

I call Law Man and thank him for waking us up before he left.  His response, “Did you not get the boys to school on time?”  WRONG THING TO SAY!!!  I said a few things that ended in, “all of this because you have ‘trial’, you are a lawyer for goodness sake.  Lawyers go to court.  Why should it disrupt our entire family?”  He told me I was hyperbolic and I could not help but laugh at the crazy morning.

I came home to get a few things done before my pilates class at 9:30.  How do I know it is at 9:30?  Because I made an appointment for 11:00 and the only reason I would do that is because I wanted to be sure to make it to pilates.  About 9:15 I realize that the class started at 9:00 and I had only made the appointment for 11:00 because I did not know what time pilates started.  ARHG!!!!  It is hard to be in my head!

I am still trying to figure out why Little Guy would think that his dad would park in the neighbors driveway.  Does he need therapy?

**A special thanks to Ashlea and Joel for taking pictures while I was organizing the festivities.

When I asked Big Guy what he wanted to do for his birthday party this year, he told me he wanted a Star Wars Lego Party.  We had a lego party the year before and that just wasn’t going to jive with my plans.  So, since we were in the middle of the hottest summer EVER, we decided a water party might be just what we need.

I have recently readopted a theory that I had back in the day as a youth minister….yes, I was a youth minister.  Those were some of the best years and some of the worst years.  Oh yes, back to my theory.  “I must wear the little people out or they will wear me out.”  Basically, someone is going down and it WILL NOT be me.

How to make this happen at a 6 year old birthday party when your son and your husband think that you should invite his class, the baseball team, the neighborhood kids, and all of your closest friends and family along with parents and siblings?

Stations….Centers, as Big Guy refers to them.

We had some centers.

We had Tarhead Tatoos, Bubble Sabers, Stormies Slide, Bibble Bubble Crafts, a Refueling Station (food and drinks), Star Sponge Race, the Clone Bubble, Jango Fett Jersey Race **a total bust and my favorite, the Wokling Pool for all of the little siblings.  The general idea was that some of the stations were self led and the kids could do those for awhile when they arrived.  Then, we all got together for Jedi Training (organized games) which led up to the Water War…..basically the 350 water balloons and each person had a “Saber Soaker” to use to protect the Galaxy.

(Please Note the Princess Leia buns in my hair.)

My bi-annual attempt to make a cute cake.  Not my best moment.

Fun was had by all!  Especially BIG GUY!

If you are interested in templates of any of the documents, let me know.  I am happy to share.  :)

Font I used:  Star Vader ***and YAY, it is free.

Other Resources:

Great Vintage Masks

Bubble Crafts and Bubble Solution

Food and Decor

Enjoy and Party on!

I told you this was a big day!!!  Did I mention that Little Guy Picked out his own clothes and dressed himself on his own for the FIRST TIME EVER?…..Aunt Tracy will be pleased.

Nervous Smiles

Walking into the building….note the news people.  Not sure if they are there because it is the earliest OKCPS has ever started or because it is supposed to be one of the hottest school days ever.

Big Guy walking into class with his new teacher!

Little Guy with his new teacher.

Finally, it is also the first day my two sisters will teach at the same school and it just so happens to be the FIRST DAY EVER Cesar Chavez Elementary is open to the Oklahoma City kiddos.  This is also the first day back to my regular blogging schedule….I am sure my readers have missed me.  I am excited and you have a lot to be excited about too!  I will be blogging about…..

my time at Blogher11

Big Guy’s 6th Birthday Party (Along with all of the previous parties that I cannot believe I never posted.)

some AMAZING Oklahoma Gardener’s Blogs

several awesome books and movies

Cesar Chavez Elementary

Summer Sports

St. Louis for families

my 2011 Handmade Christmas

my changes to R&TM and Facebook

and much more!!!

Happy Day of FIRSTS!!!!!

Just after the new year, the kids started “training” for the kids marathon. Every Friday, after school, they met in the cafeteria for a healthy snack from Eat Wise and then ran around the school. Each lap they ran was logged as part of the Kids Marathon event of the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon.

Big Guy loved every minute of it. There was only one time he went missing only to be found on the playground with an undisclosed girl from his class. The parents who organized this were amazing and it made this parent so proud to watch her little boy try so hard to be a part of such a great event. This year over 200 schools participated and there were an estimated 3000 kids that ran on a very rainy day!





Then he was worn out!!!

Last week we received an email telling us that we had been a part of the largest donation to the Memorial and Museum EVER, $800,000.00.  It was so much fun to help the boys be a part of this.

Memorial Marathon Donation

I have been branching out more and more taking the boys to the store with me. The first few years they were born, I did this all of the time. But as years have passed and I have more opportunities when they are at school and activities, it has become much easier to go sans boys and keep my sanity. They are constantly trying to talk me into buying them different cereals, cookies, juices…..I know, I should really loosen up. The problem is, this comes home with us and I end up eating most of it. Then, there is the evil stuff between the check out aisles that for some reason is just to tempting to open or stick in a pocket…..on a good day, they just beg and beg until someone ends up crying.

So, I went quite awhile with out venturing to the grocery story with the little guys. Now, I have the kids with me ALL SUMMER. Oh the joy! It has become a necessity that they run these errands with me. What to do?….I pulled out a little Super Nanny trick. Whenever we go through the produce aisle, I let each boy pick out at least one fruit or vegetable that they want me to buy for the week. This gets them involved and it has also proven to be a great lesson in the variety of fruits and vegetables that are available. It has become common place to find a piece of produce and ask me what it is called and what it tastes like.

This is just what happened a couple of weeks ago. Big Guy pointed to a strange looking green thing and asked, “what is that.” I looked at the disfigured sphere and then glanced at the name…..KOHLRABI. What is that????? Just before I had to fess up that I had no idea what it was or how to pronounce it, this woman with two young children herself, chimes in “it is ‘coal-rabi’ it is a vegetable that is often used in stir fry. It is delicious.” Then she said something about what it looked like when you harvest it from the farm and I was totally lost. However, I figured it was worth a try so I picked one up, stuck it in a bag and took it home. That night I peeled it, cut it up and added it to our stir fry…..what do you know? It was delicious!!! It tasted a lot like a potato. The most annoying thing was that when Law Man came home I quizzed him on the mysterious vegetable and he immediately blurt out, “It’s Kohlrabi.”

Oh yea…..in case you are wondering what a CAPTCHA is. It is that series of distorted letters that verifies you are a human and not a computer.